I caught a glimpse of your eyes today
Underneath all these sufferings
I found a sense of comfort
You are the moment I press to stop
You are the ignorance I cheated
You are the secret I obscured
Your face is my absolute hunt
Your voice, unknowingly, becomes my song
How should I bear this selfishness alone?
What price should I put to repay the favor for
an abolishment?
Where should I place this worthless dignity?
The bonds I tied
How do I preserve them like the way before?
This foolish heart,
How did it bring the fondness closer?
When I undoubtedly sworn for your heart as
untouchable
How should I survive with this incurring cost?
Will these longings be the savior?
A very brief period of time with your presence
Has assured me with ultimate relief
Whenever you unlocked those smiles
When the reality disclosed,
I question the certainty
I question the consequences after
Will I be the best protector or the injurer?
I saw you in my deepest dream
A series of unrighteous images and thoughts
that suffocated me
But why did it become a pleasure when I am
awake?
Because our presence resembles strongly
With my heart,
I desire the forgetfulness to clear this yearn
And
leave the remaining pieces behind
While walking the same pathway
At the end of this way I walked on
I, who was about to take for another road
How could you chase after the farewell?
Why can’t the abandonment be the one you offer?
But a possibility
Tonight, I walk with my own shadow
Why only solemnity that surrounds me?
Does somber what emblazoned me?
Tonight, I sit under the stars
Reaching out my two cold hands and pick the
brightest one among all
So, my heart won’t be dark anymore
So, my two hands will be embraced by warmth
But, why does my heart find a vague assurance?
Wrapped inside the coldness of the night
I sunken my two eyes in grief
In my heart all I have is pain,
The repeated episodes of waiting
Has now become an exhaustion
How could this tormenting feeling be
unaffected?
I, who has lost its purpose;
You, who refused to decline;
Let us lock the past as reminiscence
Because weariness is the only guarantee
Each day,
I tried to flip my heart with a new page
Waiting for a new chapter to come ahead
But why did I stop before I make the next turn?
Each day,
I forced my sight from returning to its origin
Acted as the strongest,
Seeking the smiles that have been missing
Summer changes, winter enters
Everyone lives carrying the worries
Desperately grieving from the pasts
I, who unknowingly become one,
Will forever be the payback?
Today, I escaped myself from the severe
infliction
Today, a momentary view of you become ordinary
And now, the grief is tolerable
Though the past seems bitter
But the flavor is what sweetened the present
and tasteful for the future
*****
Who knows, someday, sometime...what we wrote unintentionally & without an absolute purpose will come back at us unknowingly.
The day when we read back what came straight from our cognition, will shame & embarrassment follow next?
What if you are left with two distinct choices, when Allah tested your fragile heart with his little examination. When only doubt and uneasiness filled the room. Behind those smiles & laughters accompanied along the conversations you had, the pain & sinful episodes of your life were actually you have.
*****
"Ya Allah, peliharalah hatiku yang hanya menemui nafsu di dalam pencarian ini. Peliharalah hatiku agar tidak sekali-kali meniggalkan diri-Mu di pertengahan jalan. Jadikanlah cinta-ku cinta yang sentiasa meninggikan-Mu & tidak pernah kurang akan sukatannya. Limpahkanlah rahmat di dalam kasih ini. Janganlah Engkau palingkan diriku dengan kecantikan duniawi yang hanya diselaputi dosa & nafsu yang menodai.
Ya Allah, sekiranya itu yang KAU perkenankan buatku, permudahkanlah perjalananku bersama kasih itu. Biarkanlah cinta & kasih itu yang Halal di agama-Mu. Jadikanlah ianya sebagai satu pembimbing yang terbaik, seperti mana yang telah Engkau kurniakan kepadaku dengan lelaki bernama bapa & juga saudara-saudara lelaki ku.
Sekiranya kekecewaan & kesedihan yang ku temui di pertengahannya, jadikanlah Ia kerana kesedihan meninggalkanmu. Sekiranya kegembiraan yang menjadi pengubatnya, jadikanlah Ia kerana mengingatiMu adalah selalu.
Ya Allah, peliharalah hati ini. Perhiasilah akan ia dengan permata kasih-Mu dan janganlah Engkau dekatkannya dengan racun yang membunuh, dan peliharalah jua akhlakku dihadapan mata-mata yang memandang agar hanya rahmat-Mu menjadi pemberian terbesar buatku"
Amin~
*****
"Ya Allah, peliharalah hatiku yang hanya menemui nafsu di dalam pencarian ini. Peliharalah hatiku agar tidak sekali-kali meniggalkan diri-Mu di pertengahan jalan. Jadikanlah cinta-ku cinta yang sentiasa meninggikan-Mu & tidak pernah kurang akan sukatannya. Limpahkanlah rahmat di dalam kasih ini. Janganlah Engkau palingkan diriku dengan kecantikan duniawi yang hanya diselaputi dosa & nafsu yang menodai.
Ya Allah, sekiranya itu yang KAU perkenankan buatku, permudahkanlah perjalananku bersama kasih itu. Biarkanlah cinta & kasih itu yang Halal di agama-Mu. Jadikanlah ianya sebagai satu pembimbing yang terbaik, seperti mana yang telah Engkau kurniakan kepadaku dengan lelaki bernama bapa & juga saudara-saudara lelaki ku.
Sekiranya kekecewaan & kesedihan yang ku temui di pertengahannya, jadikanlah Ia kerana kesedihan meninggalkanmu. Sekiranya kegembiraan yang menjadi pengubatnya, jadikanlah Ia kerana mengingatiMu adalah selalu.
Ya Allah, peliharalah hati ini. Perhiasilah akan ia dengan permata kasih-Mu dan janganlah Engkau dekatkannya dengan racun yang membunuh, dan peliharalah jua akhlakku dihadapan mata-mata yang memandang agar hanya rahmat-Mu menjadi pemberian terbesar buatku"
Amin~
