Thank you for answering my little prayers

"you don't need a romancer to tug at one's heartstrings, a simple touch of art would be more than enough"

Congratulations big boy.

Time sure flies by, though our little memories remained. 

It seems like yesterday when we both - nope 4 of us shared our siblings moments - laughed our ass out, screamed out our lungs' contents, notified the world of our existence with the super gigantic gene. 

God bless us

when Eqa shared the link in whatsapp, I instantly have a look of the blog and it fluttered my heart in and out.

Masya-Allah, 

from that instant, I knew it  very well, 

you didn't left a trace only to me, but other people as well.

when I called ayah last day, when he answered my phone, when he said he just remembered about me and how long we haven't got in touch - that's when I realized, how our hearts and minds bonded in every way.

I shared everything with him, from my immature concern of my health from the early morning till the big news of Along's success. 

when I heard this came out from his mouth:

"Ramai yang datang exhibition tu, ayah rasa bangga"

damn, I believed I heard it right. 

The once a troublemaker & long-live tear-jerker of  mine has finally made it big.

my big boy, I called Along, who constantly, up till now, sharing his pieces of mind...

this boy - you did a splendid job there

When I recall of those who spoke about our passion of art, what they believed won't put us anywhere in the world, we both knew they were damn wrong. 

I, who used to be on top, with all those prize-winning drawings lined during my childhood, who once, envied by you, I guess I am no longer the holder of the throne boy. 

You definitely have stole it long ago.

You once said to me, you never had a dream for your future like other normal kids, and I remembered it vividly during my hate for medicine.

and...

Tadaa!

what have we became now? 

You grabbed the honor in arts, and I picked the role as a sole player in medicine for our family. 

God surely knows best for us, right?

when I read this:

http://rnadiasabrina.blogspot.com/2013/03/chapter-1-rebirth-solo-exhibition-by.html

it brought drops of salty liquids out from my two eyes -

thanks again my tear-jerker.

and 

Alhamdulillah

"for answering my little prayers"

You are after all, the ultimate granter for the askers.

HAPPY

Alhamdulillah, for the happiness you have granted me with

Alhamdulillah, for the happiness shared by the people who have surrounded my life 

Alhamdulillah, for everything...

When I spoke to Ibu this morning, delivering the good news with a bad start, making jokes in between, telling her to calm herself down, asking her not to be angry with the exam results and ended up with a little scolding because she said I made a suspense when it is nothing near to that. It was a normal conversation like any other person would have, but it was a blissful, warmth filled moment I must say.

We had about 40 minutes and thousands miles apart conversation with Viber, but it felt closer and shorter to heart.

Ibu was excited with her newly found business, ayah was lost in his dream - well, according to Ibu and conversation with adik topped it all. 

Alhamdulillah for the good news...

when I delivered the news about the result, I can see how happy Ibu turned after. From the way she shared her piece of joy, I knew, from that very moment, she was truly blessed. The happiness kept pouring, and I didn't want to interrupt even for a mere second, because her voice, added with her never-ending excitement just killed me - the inner me.

Along, as always never turn me down with his unstoppable efforts and little worries for his upcoming Big day. May Allah bless you brother.

don't worry, with Allah's will, success is sooner. 

Istiqamah and sabar is all I can offer as a consolation.

Alang - on the other hand, according to Ibu and through my 23 years observation, has never disappointed in the clean & hygiene department. 

He's like the next male candidate after ayah in being the cleanest in our home, and it didn't surprised me when Ibu told me how he managed to turn our waja into a not-waja but a BMW? - wow, that is quite an exaggeration there. 

and Adik

the ultimate troublemaker as he always does, but it came to surprise how he managed to turn it down, when the other 40 minutes conversation I had was all him. 

We shared everything, from my past experience, some motivations, his ignorance and disappointments, his dream, thoughts & concern for my side of life. 

it was a LOVE I truly cherished. 

how he wanted to become a pharmacist and his worry along the way.

"believe me my little boy, 

you will always do well, just don't give up in the middle"

because...failure is the best teacher for success

and the best of all...

when he 'ajuk' my sleepy voice back when ayah tried to engage a conversation with me while I was in a deep sleep this morning.

Ahhh~ as long as you're not my future in-laws then, I won't mind.

AND

when I asked about my juvenile puppy love for his friend. 

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

he turned out to be the same guy Ibu has shared  her admiration towards before. 

what a small world 

:)

can we call it as a jodoh?

LOL~

and yeah, before this was posted,
Sarah did hijacked this post
with her...

Sarah cantik

which was deleted right after...

The Hopeless Griever

I caught a glimpse of your eyes today

Underneath all these sufferings

I found a sense of comfort

You are the moment I press to stop

You are the ignorance I cheated

You are the secret I obscured

Your face is my absolute hunt

Your voice, unknowingly, becomes my song

How should I bear this selfishness alone?

What price should I put to repay the favor for an abolishment?

Where should I place this worthless dignity?

The bonds I tied

How do I preserve them like the way before?

This foolish heart,

How did it bring the fondness closer?

When I undoubtedly sworn for your heart as untouchable

How should I survive with this incurring cost?

Will these longings be the savior?

A very brief period of time with your presence

Has assured me with ultimate relief

Whenever you unlocked those smiles

When the reality disclosed,

I question the certainty

I question the consequences after

Will I be the best protector or the injurer?

I saw you in my deepest dream

A series of unrighteous images and thoughts that suffocated me

But why did it become a pleasure when I am awake?

Because our presence resembles strongly

With my heart,

I desire the forgetfulness to clear this yearn

 And leave the remaining pieces behind

While walking the same pathway

At the end of this way I walked on

I, who was about to take for another road

How could you chase after the farewell?

Why can’t the abandonment be the one you offer?

But a possibility

       Tonight, I walk with my own shadow

Why only solemnity that surrounds me?

Does somber what emblazoned me?

Tonight, I sit under the stars

Reaching out my two cold hands and pick the brightest one among all

So, my heart won’t be dark anymore

So, my two hands will be embraced by warmth

But, why does my heart find a vague assurance?

Wrapped inside the coldness of the night

I sunken my two eyes in grief

In my heart all I have is pain,

The repeated episodes of waiting

Has now become an exhaustion

How could this tormenting feeling be unaffected? 

I, who has lost its purpose;

You, who refused to decline;

Let us lock the past as reminiscence

Because weariness is the only guarantee

Each day,

I tried to flip my heart with a new page

Waiting for a new chapter to come ahead

But why did I stop before I make the next turn?

Each day,

I forced my sight from returning to its origin

Acted as the strongest,

Seeking the smiles that have been missing

Summer changes, winter enters

Everyone lives carrying the worries

Desperately grieving from the pasts

I, who unknowingly become one,

Will forever be the payback?

Today, I escaped myself from the severe infliction

Today, a momentary view of you become ordinary

And now, the grief is tolerable

Though the past seems bitter

But the flavor is what sweetened the present and tasteful for the future 

*****

Who knows, someday, sometime...what we wrote unintentionally & without an absolute purpose will come back at us unknowingly. 

The day when we read back what came straight from our cognition, will shame & embarrassment follow next? 

What if you are left with two distinct choices, when Allah tested your fragile heart with his little examination. When only doubt and uneasiness filled the room. Behind those smiles & laughters accompanied along the conversations you had, the pain & sinful episodes of your life were actually you have. 

*****

"Ya Allah, peliharalah hatiku yang hanya menemui nafsu di dalam pencarian ini. Peliharalah hatiku agar tidak sekali-kali meniggalkan diri-Mu di pertengahan jalan. Jadikanlah cinta-ku cinta yang sentiasa meninggikan-Mu & tidak pernah kurang akan sukatannya. Limpahkanlah rahmat di dalam kasih ini. Janganlah Engkau palingkan diriku dengan kecantikan duniawi yang hanya diselaputi dosa & nafsu yang menodai.

Ya Allah, sekiranya itu yang KAU perkenankan buatku, permudahkanlah perjalananku bersama kasih itu. Biarkanlah cinta & kasih itu yang Halal di agama-Mu. Jadikanlah ianya sebagai satu pembimbing yang terbaik, seperti mana yang telah Engkau kurniakan kepadaku dengan lelaki bernama bapa & juga saudara-saudara lelaki ku. 

Sekiranya kekecewaan & kesedihan yang ku temui di pertengahannya, jadikanlah Ia kerana kesedihan meninggalkanmu. Sekiranya kegembiraan yang menjadi pengubatnya, jadikanlah Ia kerana mengingatiMu adalah selalu. 

Ya Allah, peliharalah hati ini. Perhiasilah akan ia dengan permata kasih-Mu dan janganlah Engkau dekatkannya dengan racun yang membunuh, dan peliharalah jua akhlakku dihadapan mata-mata yang memandang agar hanya rahmat-Mu menjadi pemberian terbesar buatku" 

Amin~

Winter Break 2012 - Day 7 (Paris)

Paris - City of Love

bile ingat balik kisah trip to Paris ni rasa macam nak senyum 24/7 je

dengan kisah almost nak kene tinggal at Manchester sebab Ryanair, kene pakai baju berlapis-lapis mcm org Eskimo and terserempak pulak dengan 3 Malaysian guys ni 

(perlu ke nak 3 org lagi?)

and the awkward-est...

naik-naik plane, masa nak carik seat tu, I sat beside this one Korean guy, eh to be precised, 

satu row sume Korean guys n one Korean lady (ni awek die ni)

ingat kan hensem-hensem la cam lam cite Korea kan, tapi tu sume ilusi lam minda je.

cet~

adela sorg ni yang OK sket muka from the rest yang sepet-sepet tu, tapi aduuuaaaiii dah berpunya kaw

:'(

sepanjang naik tu, awkward gilos, sepatah x kuar, padehal lam hati ni dah lompat-lompat nak cakap Korean

time tidur, x yah ckp la punye la cekal nak hold kepala tu from deviate to that guy punya kepala.

last-last bangun tidur, tengok kepala masing-masing dah facing each other

*insert any Korean drama love scenes here

eeeehhh???

turun-turun airport mamai gile kepala ngn satu group minah UK ni yang kepoh cam lam cite Mean Girls tu dari lam flight duk sebok cite pasal die kiss dengan mamat ni, patu terkinja-kinja ingat plane tu parents dorg punye kan...

bile sampai airport ni lagi la cam blurrr

so, terpaksalah buang ke-ego-an yang memang sedia tersemat lam diri ni demi memberanikan diri nak tanya 3 org mamat Malaysia tu.

tula, len kali jangan sombong sangat

naik-naik bas je, imanku diduga kembali...ahaks*

adela sorg pak cik kacak ni tetibe tanya boleh x duduk sebelah...

lalu, ku lemparkan senyuman paling ikhlas tanda setuju

padahal lam hati:

"of course la wei, aku memang reserve tempat ni for kau kot"

the epic moment came right after that...

aduiiaaaiii boleh plak die tolong pegangkan seatbelt tu and pasangkan for me sebab x tau la kan, tangan tu tetibe macam x nak dengar cakap

amboiii

terima kasih pak cik kacak

:')

sampai-sampai Paris je, rasa cam

woooaaahhh 

Paris, I'm in Love yaw

Pastu, mula la serabut nak cari tang mana hotel F1 ni...

tapi disebabkan pak cik-pak cik kacak yang sedia melayan kerenah kami ni sampai gak akhirnya hotel tu.

and terima kasih jua kepada 2 sisters from Algeria ni yang sanggup temankan kitorg sampai la hotel tu. 

and die cakap, i got a very good name...

awww

terima kasih ibu ayah

:')

Haa, sampai-sampai hotel je, settle sikit-sikit terus sprint gi Eiffel Tower

time ni la rasa asal la malang benar nasib xde teman di hati, rasa FOREVER ALONE tu betul-betul kene tepek kat kepala besar-besar

lagi nak tambah derita, tiba-tiba lak salji tu gigih benar nye nak turun kan

cam lam cite Winter Sonata gitewww...

cuma without hero, but 3 supporting actresses

patu, mula la sawan gile tu start datang

amik video konon nak wat video letter to all sambil salji terbang-terbang kat belakang bagi orang Malaysia jeles...

padahal xde sape kesah pon

dah puas terkinja-kinja tu, masing-masing duk balik hotel sebab esoknye kene plan nak gi my childhood punye dream:

Disneyland!!!

The 3 hero-less dara 

Test kot ade superpower leh jalan atas ais...

Kurus ke Sihat?

Tadi timbang berat, sebab bak kata Sarah, kene jadikan penimbang as best friend.

Jadi, best friends saya semuanya adalah penimbang berat?

eh?

ni semua sebab misi nak kuruskan badan, eh bukan, sihatkan badan yang terlampau 'sihat' dah sekarang.

Buat perjanjian dengan Sarah siapa lagi kurus by 1 month dia dapat ganjaran.

Ganjaran apa?

Dah menang nanti, baru bagitau.

Boo~

So, sebab nak kurus sihat, and tak mau kene complain dengan ibu, along and mak-cik mak-cik Malaysia, saya kene gigihkan usaha. 

Nak badan macam mana ye?

macam SNSD boleh?

So Nyeo Shi Dae (SNSD)

tu rangka tu, mana isinya?

kalau macam tu...

nak Sistar lah, sebab ibu nak yang macam tu

(ni nak sihat ke, nak penuhkan kehendak manusia?)

SISTAR
jagan tengok lama-lama

saya tak nak macam SNSD/Sistar/After School yang ohsem, 

tapi nak badan yang sihat

kira macam...

kalau pergi buat medical check-up,

doctor puji sebab kesihatan badan dalam tahap yang optimum

(padahal memang nak badan macam tu, cakap je la)

tapi, sihat macam mana kita pun, satu hari nanti akan menemui ajal jugak

cuma tak tahu dalam keadaan apa,

sihat/sakit

sebab tu la, kene sihatkan both rohani & jasmani

supaya sama-sama melengkapi untuk akhirat nanti

Insya-Allah

:)

Tips nak kurus?

Nanti dah berjaya, kita cerita ramai-ramai satu-satu

ni belum dapat hasil, sebok nak kongsi

Menang/kalah, tak kisah pun,

sebab nak observe setakat mana badan ni boleh menampung...

nanti, boleh jadi personal trainer ibu and ayah kat kampung

hehe

tapi, cuma satu boleh kongsi dengan yakin:

kene senam selalu and makan makanan yang sihat dalam kadar yang sikit tapi kerap

jangan ponteng makan lagi-lagi sarapan pagi kecuali puasa

tapi, puasa pun kene sahur kan?

tapi kalau bangun lambat sampai ke petang tu, breakfast amendenye

=.='

Berapa dah turun?

penimbang berat tu macam mirror-mirror on the wall,

suka frustkan we all

zzz~

Winter Break 2012 - Day 6 (Liverpool) Day 7 (Manchester)

Day 6 - 1st Feb 2012

Lepas seharian buat Stadium Tour and how we missed to witness the beauty of Greenwich with its famous Meridian Line, masing-masing terbungkang keletihan.

and the next morning, ni memang pagi buta keluar from rumah Fizerk, we ran back to Victoria Coach Station to head our way to Liverpool pulak.

Lari punya lari, sempat jugak naik, nasib tak tertinggal

We took National Express coach. All I can say is...I wish buses in Egypt will be like that. Well-equipped. 

It took about 5-6 hours to reach Liverpool from London. Memang jauh la, sampai tidur-bangun-tidur-bangun pun x sampai-sampai lagi.

Nampak je macam panas, sekali keluar, menggigil 

Sampai-sampai Liverpool, dengan half-drained body, we were welcomed by Kak Nadia. All I can say, Kak Nadia and her housemates are truly the best. They were too welcoming. 

After settling ourselves, terus pergi Anfield (Liverpool's Football Stadium) since we decided to have one-day trip je kan at Liverpool, so whatever pun, we have to rushing like crazy la

Anfield...all I got to say, served us nothing special except the hype I've been on the place where Gerrard always give his best shots.

Dengan random scooter in front of the museum

The replica of the old Anfield stadium back then
Macam padang sekolah rendah

We actually ate in the museum sebab seriously lapar gila. Thanks for  providing us with the benches...to EAT
^_^

With the trophies, not sure which league/cup they won

Am I a fan?
used to be

Fantasizing myself with Gerrard by my side

Who's Dalglish again?
=.='

Who's Reina?
Seriously, I don't give a damn

Promoting the museum

Liverpool FC Official Store

The Paisley Gateway outside The Kop, bukan ko-op dekat sekolah tu ye.  Dibina sebagai memperingati  jasa the former manager of Liverpool FC - Bob Paisley

Forever Alone

with Zana in front of Anfield. See the reporters back there?
We should have selit ourselves depan those cameras

Anfield - Located in Anfield, Liverpool. Home to Liverpool FC, which originally belonged to Everton FC  yang sekarang dah bertukar tempat kat Goodison Park. According to the local, dorg kene sodok all the houses nearby sebab nak besarkan the stadium je. 

Nothing better than to start the tour of the city's maritime heritage than Liverpool's City Centre Waterfront, yang menjadi centrepiece kepada UNESCO World Heritage Site.

So, according to Kak Nadia, whoever yang datang Liverpool, you guys have to at least datang Albert Dock, and memandangkan Liverpool ni quite kecik, so it's not a big deal to cover some places in one day. 

In front of Mann Island

Canning Dock - one of the docks found in Liverpool

The Pumphouse - near to the Liverpool Museum

Canning Dock

Albert Dock, Liverpool Waterfront - the 1st non-combustible warehouse system yang dibina di dunia sebab  struktur dia dibina dengan  batu bata and cast iron

Even the photographer pon gelak masa tangkap gambar ni.
Bajet je lebih

The Duck Tour - comeeellll gile

It reminds me of Teletubbies a lot

Arena & Convention Centre

and for the retail therapy, tidak lain dan tidak bukan adelah at Liverpool One - syurga membeli-belah

Rambang mata and tachycardia dibuatnya. The sales...make you want to stay in Liverpool for a year...

You can get about RM50 G.A.P jeans for yourself. Siapa x nak, G.A.P kot
T.T

at Pull n Bear
mommy needs her wallet back!

at Church Street 

Poundworld - syurga for a food-holic like me. Everything for one to two pounds...don't ever miss any glances of yours

Random Railway Station

Habis shopping je, we headed back to Kak Nadia's house. Siap makan ayam kurma sorang 3 ketul. Totally worth it. Dahla dapat tidur free, makan pon sedap even the next morning pon siap sume breakfast sekali. Dengan tolong hantarkan & bawakkan barang to coach station.

I'm truly grateful and honoured

and sebagai reward for myself:

Hehe...even in Liverpool, Primark can never escape from my hunting 

The 3 pounds gloves I always dream of. Totally worth it!

Day 7 - 2nd Feb 2012
Sampai-sampai Manchester from Liverpool terus pergi Old Trafford with all the luggages. Adela rupa macam nak berkampung dekat Old Trafford tu.
Even the guy yang nak simpankan barang tu siap tegur tengok gamat sangat kitorg shopping.
Well, you can expect that from women

So, mengikut plan asal, maka 3 of us pun masuk la Stadium & Museum Tour tu. You can get cheaper entrance fee dengan syarat tunjukkan student card la.
Even, masa tengah beratur nak beli tu pun, boleh pulak keluar berita ade orang mati sebab football dekat Egypt.
WTH? Perlu ke everything resolve by fists?
always available in Egypt

*uhuk *uhuk *uhuk

I bet they are out of space to put them all

with the so-called 'hubby' - the jambu Chicharito

The evolution of the jersey

East stand with Nike Swoosh in Old Trafford

West Stand (Stretford End) - named after the nearby location, Stretford

our Tour Guide - well, according to him, die cakap die penah pergi Pulau Tioman which I never been there yet
=.='

Now I know how the magnificent field turned out in TV

Don't forget to bring your student card, nanti boleh dapat diskaun

the 3 proud ladies in Old Trafford - melawat tempat kerja suami

He was shocked n awed a bit when we told him we're Malaysians yang study in Egypt tapi duduk Malaysia

patut nyorok kat dalam ni je

This is where the players had their meal - macam kenduri kawin, you know, the buffets 

The Dressing Room
no. 10 tu paling penting ye

Guess who I actually belong to?

Game Plan!

even when we walked across this, diorg pasang those cheers from the audience  as background konon nak dapat feel macam all the Manchester United's players yang keluar from sini jugak

The seats used by the players when watching the match

See the Alex Ferguson's stand at the back? Named after current Manchester United's manager yang dah banyak berjasa
Sir Alex Ferguson

Kaki tu x boleh ke nak bengkok lagi?

Old Trafford - Home of the great Manchester United. 2nd largest football stadium in England after Wembley, 3rd largest in UK and 11th in Europe. Named as Theatre of Dreams by Sir Bobby Charlton.
misi membuat Along, ayah, apit, ayuy n abg boy jeles ACCOMPLISHED!

xdpt exchange glance dengan da real one, gamba pun jadi la

This one is specially for Cik Sarah...reminds me a lot of Leeteuk

You'll always be in my heart

after habis memeriahkan Old Trafford, terus jalan-jalan around Manchester.
actually, not the whole Manchester, (which I doubt the strength) but Manchester University.
This is all because of this one sole reason:
sebab my current Medical Program yang kitorg ambil ni join my Mansoura University dengan Manchester University ni

Look docs, I went to Manchester University as u always wanted

and my affection for Primark didn't stop in Liverpool just yet, even dekat Manchester still nak singgah.
So, I ended up with 3 belts and a Primark bag yang konon nye nak muatkan the whole thing in it.

speechless
o.O

Tapi, semuanya meleset cause the next day, the worst thing happened
Why?
I think I'm gonna shut myself for now, because we have promised to keep it only for 3 of us
-so much drama, enough said-

This is where we stayed in Manchester before heading to Paris

AND

so, for the next entry...Paris and Barcelona
I'm gonna cerita2 later ye