Mother's Day

Happy Belated Mother's Day Ibu!!!

I'm sorry I'm this kind of daughter,

Thanks for everything,

For the unstoppable nagging and lectures

For the perfect food I digested,

For the warmth and tenderness 

For having me with pain

I cannot list them all, cause it will take me forever

Semalam, I texted my Ibu just nak wish die Mother's day. At first, mmg hesitate sgt2 la, cause I'm not the type yg overly romantic, even though Libran is known to be somehow romantic. Time type tu pon, I wrote something so childish n ntah pape. Being my first time to send mother's day message mmg agak mencabar keegoan diri ni. 

For the past 21 years, mmg susah gile nak show my affection for someone especially my family, but I talked to myself, kenapa perlu malu nak tunjukkn kasih sayang kita pada ibu sendiri yg melahirkan kita sebelum ni, tapi tidak kepada kekasih hati yg x confirm lagi jadi bakal suami? 

But honestly, my siblings mmg macam tu. Maybe because ktorg dibesarkan dalam family yg strict, so we became awkward nak express our love between us. 

Even till now pon, lepas sembahyang berjemaah, time salam dgn family, mesti akn rase awkward nak cium my big bro's punye pipi and dahi. But, alhamdulillah, but my along has grown a lot n we become more open to each other. Dia selalu nasihat not to hide your love from your family but to show it more, and his care for us deepened lately. 

Jadi, I thought, why not give yourself a chance once in a while, lagipun bukanlah dosa tapi pahala adela, lagi2 if your mom gembira tgk anak sendiri menghargai jasa die selama ni. Walaupon x sebesar mane, hanye sekerat message, but deep inside, dorg mesti rase bangga. 

I texted my mom pagi2 bute waktu Egypt kot, dgn harapan my mom akan bace message tu dekat sekolah. For someone yg memang selalu lupe like my mom, I should call her instead, but there's still ego left inside me yg pulled me away and I ended up message je. 

I sent her with this:

"Happy Mother's Day ibu. May Allah bless you in everything you do. Thanx for everything.

You're the greatest ibu!

Always pray for our success.

Love u, 

mmuahh

okay, truthfully, mule2 nak type tu, mmg asyik typo je time tekan keypad hp tu.Button cancel tu x yah cakap la, berapa kali kot tekan. and word mmuah at the end tu, I swear, I mmg letak UNAWARELY. Bile send tu, x tgk blk pon message tu, lantak la typo ke x. I felt greasy gile kot mase tu. 

Macam a guy yg nak ngorat any woman dgn ayat2 jiwang, mcm tu la what I felt.

Tgk2 je, dah tertekan option SEND tu and delivered. 

For one whole day, I waited my mom punye reply. Dalam hati x yah cakap la, asyik risau je, kenapa ibu x balas2 lagi. Ibu marah ke, ibu merajuk ke, or something bad happened. 

Kalau lelaki tgh tggu perempuan tu terima pinangan dia or x, mcm tu la what I felt. 

Sedih and kecewa pon ade memule tu, yela, penat2 reka ayat last2 x balas ape2 pun.

tapi I know, I always have faith in my mom, I know, she won't upset or frustrate me. 

Malam tu, I checked again my inbox. I was touched, happy and sad when I finally have her message.

"Alhamdulillah. Syukur. I want to be a good serven for Allah and good mother. 

I love you sooo much my sweeties. 

I want u 2B a good mother too. 

I always pray 4 your success.

May Allah full fill your dreams.

May your dreams come through"

-Ibu

Ya Allah, time dapat message tu, rase nak nangis pon ade cause eventually I remembered this one very moment of us. Ade this one night, masa tu I became sulky. X tau la kenapa kan, but mmg emo la hari tu. Senyap je depan Ibu, mcm x respond sgt. So, sebab tension yg x tentu pasal tu, I ended up tertido. 

What happened after dat, was da memorable part for me, and I swear, I will never forget dat till I die.

Ibu datang my bilik and die kemaskan all the things yg bersepah kat bilik tu. Mase tu, I terjage sikit, but sebab ego yg x berkesudahan, buat2 tido lagi la. Then, she switched off lampu bilik. Masa tu, I thought Ibu akan pergi masuk bilik die balik cause she always acted like dat before. But, suddenly, I felt something strange, something warm embracing me from the back. I thought ade jembalang yang tetibe muncul, but it was my Ibu hugging me.

I was speechless and frozen atas katil time tu. She caressed me, sweeping off my hair softly, and hugged me tighter in her warm body. 

At that very moment, my eyes became teary, but sebab x nak obviouskan yg I was actually pretending to sleep, I held it. I kept asking myself, if she ever did the same way before, unnoticed by me? 

and suddenly, there's an extreme guilt surrounded me. How can I be so sinful towards her, but yet, she still treated me that way. How cruel I am.

and then I ended up sleeping again. I felt so safe and warm sampai lena gila tidur. 

Even the next day pon, I acted like nothing happened as I kept it secret for my own memory. 

I wanted to treasure it as much as I can.

Sebab, terigtkan that moment la, I was deeply touched dapat message Ibu semalam.

Lepas bace tu, I giggled a bit. 

How cute Ibu can be, with all those grammatical errors...even though more or less, I am the same too. Keke.

How she wrote sweeties instead of sweety. Igtkan die forward message ni to all my bros too, tapi x kan la, cause Ibu nak me jadi a good mother, so my brothers kan lelaki, jadi x mungkin diorg boleh beranak kan, 

unless Allah want to do so. Then, mmg histeric gile la, one day I'm gonna be the first bidan yang keluarkan baby from a man's womb (Let's talk about REAL man here)...hoho...feymes I giteeww

So, for all mothers and mother-to-be around the world, Happy Belated Mother's Day aunties, sisters.

Appreciate our mother while she's still alive. Even without her presence in this world, let's not forget how beautiful her love was for us. 

Let's make Mother's Day everyday. 

Sesungguhnya, syurga tu terletak di bawah telapak kaki ibu. 

Let's be a daughter or son our mom can be proud of. 

last but not least;

BORN AGAIN, STILL YOUR DAUGHTER

Puan Noraini Abd Manaf, walaupon anda selalu suruh saya diet  and buat itu n ini, saya tetap terima kritikan anda sebab saya syg anda lebih dari segala-galanya. Jangan lupe iPad yg dijanjikan jika saya dapat mumtaz ye. hoho