Forget, Exam and Doughnuts

I wish I could forget you, for God's sake, you have become the biggest burden carried on my shoulders...knowing you, sometimes I feel like I made the biggest mistake in my life...while I'm holding all the happiness from people surrounding me, you suddenly appeared from no where and made my life into a chaos. Everyday I pray and pray to God just to forget you, but why does it become harder? Watching your face, gestures and actions make me sick! I wish you were only a dream that was meant to be forgotten, which when I wake up, you'll be completely vanished from my thoughts...Oh Allah, give me the greatest strength just to forget you so that I can seek again the freedom I used to have before knowing you. Aminnn...

Yeah, exam is just around the corner and coming nearer...hoho...struggling myself to beat my last record...i mean come on! I have to do GREAT not BETTER this time...how I constantly kept watching my friends pampering themselves with books and lecture notes makes me worry even more and envy too...hohoho...that's the power of examination, I guess...so peers, gud luck! 

Haha...I must say this week must be a doughnut's week for my housemates...lots of doughnuts freshly made from the factory! and thanks to the bakers especially Eqa...yummy~

Silence is The Best Policy

"Silence is the best policy"... Yeah, I do agree with the quote. REALLY.

It's the fact though, and you simply might hurt other person's feeling with only the power of the words you uttered. We never realize it, how the person was affected by us. How he/she kept it only not to being hurt even more. I do sometimes realize about it, and I keep on making the same mistakes. A simple sorry and a quick thought wouldn't hurt, right?

How do you deal with a person who doesn't even bother to do such little and simple act I mentioned above? How he/she keeps constantly making the same mistakes but never ever realize that and doesn't want to change for a better person. Simply rude, isn't? Just because we were blessed with something more than what other person lacks of, we never give a damn to reflect ourself and see what we actually lack of? That's selfish.

I'm not writing this post to pinpoint the blame on someone, but rather an advice for myself and those who bother. I went through this one post and talked to myself, I should reflect myself too, thus making me to write this post today. So, let us cherish this world with more happy smiles than hurtful feelings. 

Last but not least, "Talk is Silver, Silence is Gold"...

The new me

Yeah, I'm hoping to become one n still struggling myself to endure the obstacles of becoming the NEW Amal, though I dare say I'm still lacking, but there's a reason they create the word "TRY" for us...cause you'll eagerly to try new things until you're fully satisfied, am I right? or No?..

I went to the MMMC meeting today. It was awesome, simply Awesome. Even though I hesitated a bit in the beginning about its effectiveness and how great the impact might hit me, but I must say, I'm completely satisfied with the contents, plus how they served some snacks along (which definitely the biggest reason for someone glutton like me).

At first, I was like, no...not another boring talks and some stupid jokes, but it turned out to be something inspiring until the end. The best slot was definitely the motivation session. I was definitely inspired by how motivated they are and how wasteful I am with my precious time. I guess I'm still a no one, or shall I say...I always know I'm the No One.

I always have this inferiority, lack self-esteem, & inadequacy in me...and my mother knows well about this, how she struggled herself to pull me out from them. I dare to say she's the biggest motivator I ever met and never once she gives up on me. How constantly she made the long international calls only to feed me with the thoughtful and sometimes painful advices...that's my Ibu.

So, with the newly converted year, I asked myself, why don't I try to reconstruct the old pathetic me into someone more optimistic and confident? If anyone can, why can't I? Right?

Am I Currently Falling in Love?

Have you ever questioned yourself if you're currently falling in LOVE?

Am I? Yes, I am...quite a few times..but I don't know if it is the right question for I mean...falling in LOVE?...Oh come on, what LOVE really is? That's a big question for me until...now.

There's a big difference in my dictionary between Love, Like, Adore, Crush and Idolize. I've experienced and still experiencing the last four but never the first...So, can someone define to me what Love really means?

Why am I bothering to post some BS about love? After considering my single life carefully, and how my besties are currently involving themselves with the In A Relationship status, I should give a thought about this, right? or...don't ever bother about it Amal...hehe...

Obviously, I should be bothering myself since my ears are bleeding from the recent question and 'thoughtful advice' like "when am I gonna be the next THEM?", "Get a life, stop tantalizing your he-will-never-marry-u idols"...

Love for me is giving your full affection, where there lies Like, Idolize, Adore, all together in it. And I never find someone right to fit the position yet except my family and of course the one I hand my faith, the Creator of me...

So whenever there's a love song playing around, whenever I give a damn to listen carefully of the lyrics, I'll constantly asking myself, what the heck, Love?...So, mates, good luck with your relationship and your belief with Love and don't count me in...[Evil's laugh]...until someone fits the role, and when I realize I can utter the word I Love You [With a deep thought of its meaning], then only I can say I'm currently in LOVE...until then, it will become my next LIKING or CRUSH okay, where I can ditch anytime I like.

Currently in LOVE with Yoseob (Beast) and Drama (Dalmatian) - First Snow, First Kiss song...